Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
