Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
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