I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Randomize
