why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
