remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
