Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
