New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
