garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Randomize
