im having a threesome with these popsicles
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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