I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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