He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
