We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
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