My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Randomize
