I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Randomize
