You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Randomize
