after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
