i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
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