We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
