You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Randomize
