Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
