So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
