I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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