do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I need to align my fucking chakras
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
