I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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