she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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