So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Randomize
