my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Randomize
