haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
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