Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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