oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
