hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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