so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
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