Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
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