First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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