Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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