We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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