I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
