just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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