Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
