due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
