my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
