Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
