This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
