i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
