You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
