Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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