dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Randomize
