Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
