We named our party play list daddy issues
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
