So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Randomize
