what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
