I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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